Slow Down!

Too often we get ourselves in positions we regret as the result of rushing or responding with a disproportionate sense of urgency.  Most of us who are not doctors or emergency medical techincians are not making decisions that are matters of life and death.  When we get upset and our heart rate gets up our primal brain thinks we are in fact in a life threatening situation.  Responses from this state of mind are fight or flight; what is said and done is done with aggression and/or fear.   Our fight or flight instincts that helped us survive as cavemen and keep us from getting hit by cabs unfortunately do not help us to be understood or develop the relationships we desire.  Allowing ourselves to be understood requires that we take the time and space we need to become calm and clear.  When we are calm and clear we can discuss our feeling and needs in way that is respectful and constructive to our relationships.  Understanding does not happen through force, aggression, or avoidance.  It is invited when we create a sense of safety by demonstrating calmness, clarity, patience and a respectful desire to be understood and understand one another.