Making Time and Stealing Time

One of the greatest joys in life is connecting and feeling connected with other people.  This is especially true of those we are closest to, our partner, children, friends, parents, colleagues.  Problems can arise when we do not make time to take care of these relationships, by simply making time to be with and connect with these people (whether in person, by phone, skype, et al.).  What tends to happen when the needs for connection are not being met in conscious and intentional ways is that we unconsciously meet these needs through arguments.  In some sense arguments work, especially with couples, because they generate and express passion and demand connection, sometimes for hours on end.  I call this type of connecting, “stealing time.”  However, as anyone who has ever experienced this will attest, this form of connecting is exhausting and frustrating.  We don’t need to operate in this way.  We can get our needs for connection met by making time in our busy schedules to connect with the people we care about.  A little planning, awareness and intention go a long way towards meeting our needs and being able truly enjoy those we care so much about.