Overcoming Family Messages

Families by default and some intentionally indoctrinate their children into their ways.  Every family is a microculture.  We are often blind to the powerful influence of our upbringing and the examples set by those living in our households simply because as children we lacked perspective to see that there were and are other ways of being in the world than what was being modeled for us.  As adults we have the freedom to choose how we want to be in the world.  For many of us it is challenge to overcome strong messages expressed both verbally and in action by our families (i.e. “We do not do conflict,” “Your opinion does not matter,” “How you look is more important than how you feel,” “You need to be different than how you are to be loved,” etc.).  These messages have a certain kind of gravity, but if we are aware of them we can decide whether or not we follow their pull.  Being who we want to be in the world is the result of conscious and intentional choices.  We may always hear these messages and feel these pulls, but the messages become quieter and the pulls weaker as we see them for what they are and choose to take actions that lead to the life and relationships we desire.