The Gift of Connection

Connection is one of the most important human experiences.  It is the foundation of trust.  So what can we do to increase our sense of connection and invite others to connect with us?  One answer is that we can intentionally and actively seek it.  To do so our actions and communications need to be honest, respectful, and consistent.  We need to be both more humble and more curious when it comes to other people.  Dialogue guided by internal questions like, "Who is this person?", "What matters to them?" "What do they find interesting?" "What is meaningful?"can create a space to engage and exchange thoughts and feelings.  The participation in this process is connection.  When we feel safe and it is appropriate we can increase connection by allowing ourselves to be vulnerable by being honest about feelings and other deeply personal experiences.  When this type of honesty is received with interest, compassion, and without judgment we truly experience empathy, or in the words of  Siegel and Bryson, we "feel felt." Connection is a process of both giving and receiving.  We give in being honest, respectful and consistent, and we receive in learning about others through benevolent curiosity.  Connection cannot be forced.  It can only be invited.