The Problem with Simple Stories

In her poem The Speed of Darkness, Muriel Rukeyser states “The universe is made of stories, not of atoms.”  While Rukeyser’s position may seem extreme or even mystical it hard to argue with the fact that we use stories to make order of our life experiences.  We are telling ourselves stories all the time.  Our inner monologue is a running story.  A problem can occur in relations when we cease to engage in dialogue with another because we believe we know what the other is thinking and will do.  Unless one is clairvoyant, one does not know what another is thinking.  The stories we tell to ourselves about others when we are upset are generally too simple and do not give the other the benefit of the doubt.  People are vast and complicated, unfortunately, when we become angry we have a tendency to tell ourselves simple stories that cast the other as a two dimensional, malicious caricature.  These types of stories are static and generally serve to blame or be right.  When we engage in dialogue in the present with the intention of understanding and being understood we put ourselves in position to co-create stories that work.  One way to this is to own our feelings without blaming and to ask the other their intentions with genuine curiosity.