Guilt and Forgiveness

Martin Buber tells a story in Tales of the Hasidim, in which a man goes to a Rabbi and asks, “In this age in which there are no prophets how do we know when our sins are forgiven?”  The Rabbi answers, “We stop committing them.” I find this an incredibly powerful story for addressing guilt.  As I have written many times people are creatures of habit and we generally do not change our patterns until they causes us so much pain that we must.  Our pain tells us something is wrong and we need to do something differently.  It’s evolutionary. We can learn from our pain to stop hurting ourselves and others.  Learning and changing is the gift of forgiveness that Buber addresses in this story.  When we pay attention to the pain we experience and the pain we cause others we are in position stop these ways of acting and being.  We need not continue to suffer and cause suffering once our pain or another’s has awakened us up to habits we are engaging in that are causing the suffering.  In being aware we can turn off autopilot of habit and consciously and intentionally make choices that make life better.