Negative and Positive Feedback Loops

While there are many things that contribute to a sense on strain in relationships, one of the highest ranking is the feeling of not being appreciated and acknowledged.  With the busyness of life and our many obligations it is easy to fall into habits that may not make us happy, but allow us to survive day to day.  Getting by is not enough for most people, nor should it be.  We want to feel inspired, connected, engaged, and loved.  One way to put energy back into a relationship system that has been under strain is to start remembering and noticing the things your partner, friend, family member, or child does that you appreciate and to letting them know.  Relationships get stuck in feedback loops.  Defensiveness, irritability, and aggression sustain negative and unfulfilling feedback loops.  We do not have to settle for this.  We can do our part to create positive feedback loops by being decent, kind, patient, and acknowledging and appreciating the positive things people are already doing.  The equation is relatively simple.  To have better relationship do less negative, and damaging things (e.g. acting aggressively, impatiently, stubbornly, defensively, and dismissively), and do more positive things (e.g. showing appreciation, love, understanding, patience, thoughtfulness, listening, and care).  We have a choice of which feedback loops we participate in. I recommend declining invitations to participate in negative feedback loops, and inviting others to participate in positive feedback loops.