The Power of Differentiation and the Value of Awareness

I looked up the meaning of "differentiation" and found it to be "the act of differentiating."  "Differentiating" was defined as "to form or mark differently from other such things; distinguish."  In the work I do with my clients differentiation refers to knowing what's one's stuff (emotionally) and what is another person's.  The more aware we are of our own internal processes, the more we are able to make conscious decisions and respect the essential humanity of others.  When we know how and why we are emotionally triggered, differentiation is happening on two levels:  First, we able to distinguish our feeling in the present from our feelings in the past from growing up in our family of origin.  This is our stuff.  Second, in seeing and owning our stuff we are able to see other people as real people, not as projections from our past.  This is liberating for everybody.  If we seek to have healthy relationships, differentiation is essential.  Without it we are playing out our stuff unconsciously on others.  We need not do this.  We can through therapy, recovery, and spiritual paths come to understand our inner workings.  This understanding allows us to see our emotional needs and take care of them in a healing, healthy and growthful manner.  Additionally, it creates a space to invite others to do the same