The Importance of Action

When discussing with clients new ways of doing things to better meet their needs, the response is often agreement and resistance.  The resistance comes from fear.  The old way has served to protect them from earlier (i.e. childhood, prior relationships, trauma) and even primal fears.  Fears that state if we do the thing we are afraid of (i.e. be ourselves, be honest, be confrontational, be vulnerable, etc.) we will actually die.  That’s how it feels.  The good news is that this is just a feeling.  We don’t die when we push ourselves out of our comfort zone, we heal and grow.  The experience of doing what we are afraid of and surviving reprograms our brain (specifically the amygdala) making it easier the next time.  By taking any intentional action in the directions of the change and healing and surviving we become braver and more comfortable to keep moving in the direction we seek.  Start small.  The comparison I use with clients seeking drastic change is “Let’s say a client has come to therapy to address their claustrophobia, I would not recommend that they immediately try to go to Time Square on New Year’s Eve.”  Take one small action in the direction you seek.  Healing and confidence will follow.  Keep going.